


Things Left Unsaid

by MaryBeth



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:20:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22788607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryBeth/pseuds/MaryBeth
Summary: Story covers the 5 or 6 days following the gate being closed at end of Season Two, mainly focusing on the conversations between the Chief and Eleven that weren't shown (Chicago, Sara, mama).  A little bit of Jopper (maybe more than a little) and very little Mileven for you shippers.  I know Season 3 is long done and 4 is in production, but I loved Season 2 and the relationship between Eleven and Hopper.
Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper & Jim "Chief" Hopper, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, Jonathan Byers & Joyce Byers & Will Byers & Eleven | Jane Hopper, Joyce Byers & Jim "Chief" Hopper, Steve Harrington & Jim "Chief" Hopper
Comments: 12
Kudos: 66





	Things Left Unsaid

The gate was closed.

The last few days had passed in a blur. While El and Will slept at the Byers, under the watchful eyes of Nancy, Jonathon or Joyce, Hopper had been busy catching up with work, checking on progress at the lab, liaising with Dr. Owens, replacing the broken windows, fixing the front door that had been ripped off the hinges when _that thing_ had left Will’s body, visiting El whenever she was awake and cleaning up the cabin so it was back to normal. Well, almost normal. He wasn’t sure it was ever going to feel normal again. But he wanted to get El home as soon as he felt she was strong enough. Tonight, if possible.

While they had a good conversation in the truck on the way to the gate, there was so much more they needed to talk about. He wasn’t stupid – he knew he couldn’t keep her hidden from the kids now – especially that Wheeler kid – but they both needed to get back into a routine. A new routine, with new rules, but a routine none the less. Her safety had been compromised enough. He also needed to talk to her about the terrible fight they had, more calmly - he had badly mishandled the situation, losing his temper. He thought about the rest of their conversation in the truck and couldn’t believe he had never – not once – mentioned Sara. He needed to talk to her about Sara too. And he needed to know whatever the hell else she had gotten up to when she ran off.

As he was unloading the supplies for the windows, Jonathon and Steve had showed up after school on his doorstep to help. He had assumed Joyce had forced them to come over but it had been Jonathon’s idea and he had enlisted Steve’s help. At first, Hopper hadn’t been too pleased with the Harrington kid knowing where the cabin was, but he could use the extra hands and, regardless of anything else, Steve had helped the kids distract those demonic dogs so he could safely get El to the gate. He struck Hopper as the type of kid that really needed to feel like he belonged. And right now, he seemed to belong to Dustin, who treated him like a big brother, so that was good enough for him. 

Neither boy had a good relationship with their dad – let’s face it, Lonnie was a class A jerk – and both seemed eager to learn some ‘do it yourself’ skills and simply spend some time with an adult male who didn’t think they were a waste of space. Doing something normal after the crazy, completely abnormal experience they had all been through together. Hopper’s grandpa had, thankfully, taught him everything he knew about carpentry, electricity, plumbing and general repairs and he was happy to share it. To teach – because that’s what he did. Teach, protect, feed. They picked up the basics quickly and the windows were replaced in less than half the time it would have taken him to do it alone. It gave him enough extra time to check and patch the roof, empty the eave troughs and even add some extra insulation, taking full advantage of having the ladders out. He had bought double paned windows so the cabin would be easier to keep warm for the upcoming winter. Everything was finished by noon the next day as the boys had skipped school that morning to help complete the work.

“Thanks guys. Really appreciate it. This would have taken me at least three days by myself,” Hopper said gratefully, offering them cans of coke and roast beef sandwiches for lunch while they sat on the porch. If he was being honest with himself, which he was being forced to lately, he had surprisingly enjoyed the company of a couple of teenage boys the last two days. Jesus - what the hell was happening to him.

As the boys were leaving Jonathon said, “See you for dinner.” Not a question – a simple statement. Like it was completely normal for him to regularly dine at the Byers. As much as he enjoyed Joyce’s company, this would hopefully be the last dinner for a while – he wanted El to sleep in her own bed tonight. She had slowly been regaining her strength and managed to stay awake for six hours yesterday. Tomorrow was Saturday so he had two days to spend with her at home.

The first night, that first horrible night when he thought she might not make it because she lost so much blood and was unconscious the entire trip back from the lab, had provided complete clarity about how much he loved that little girl. His little girl. If she hadn’t made it through, he knew he would never have survived losing another daughter. Thankfully, the minute they pulled up beside Joyce’s car in the driveway she had stirred to life. It was as if the mere proximity of Mike Wheeler had awakened her.

Nancy, Jonathon and Joyce were just stepping out of their car, helping Will out of the back seat. Hopper and Joyce locked eyes asking the silent question – _is your kid ok?_ – both relieved with the nod they received. Hopper quickly helped El from the back seat of the truck and the small group huddled between the vehicles for a moment. El clung to Hopper, barely able to stay on her feet, as Joyce gave her a fierce, motherly hug. Will and El shyly exchanged glances, never having actually met properly before. Will had either been unconscious or in the upside down. Jonathon and Nancy each had a protective arm around Will, who looked close to collapsing.

Before they knew it, everyone else came pouring out of the house and they were surrounded, multiple voices shouting greetings and asking questions at once. Eventually the throng turned into a massive group hug, everyone clinging to everyone else, relieved and happy. Steve had hung back for a second until Dustin had pulled him in as well. Group hugs were definitely not Hopper’s thing, but he counted heads to make sure everyone was there and was truly grateful for this weirdly amazing group of people. This extended family that he already knew was going to be the human safety net for El to start to move beyond the confines of the cabin.

Hopper snapped back to the present. “Yeah I’ll be there with the pizza. I’ll be at work for most of the afternoon if anyone needs me,” he told Jonathon.

Hopper spent an hour tidying up the last vestiges of the mess inside the cabin. El had left the Hawkins box she had dug up sitting on the couch, lid off and papers scattered all over the floor. _So that’s how she knew about her mama_. But she also left the broom and dustpan out, so at least she had started to clean up, as she had been told. That was something. As he returned the box to the crawlspace, he quickly checked to see what other boxes were in plain view, shifting several to the back corner that he didn’t want her asking about. Not yet, anyway. Some day he would share more of his past with her, but now wasn’t the time. There were more immediate things on his mind that were more important that they needed to discuss. He did, however, move the Sara box so he could easily reach it.

One of the last things he put away on the shelf was the dictionary El had thrust at him. _With her mind._ He had come to the realization a long time ago that his main coping mechanism was simply ignoring her powers. Ignoring the fact that she unlocked the door bolts from her bedroom, that she could reach through a void to see almost anyone - or painfully slam a couch into his leg. Ignoring the fact that she could snap his neck if she really lost control. He knew she would never do it, but he hadn’t thought she would blow out all the windows having a tantrum, either. He knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the mutually loving relationship and close bond they had built over many months was enough to stop a deadly accident like that from ever happening, so he rarely contemplated the full extent of her growing powers. But after watching her close the gate it was impossible to _not_ think about it. Until the day he dies he knows he will never forget her lifting off the ground, both hands outstretched, screaming at the top of her lungs until she collapsed. 

***

After getting El and Will settled on Joyce’s couch that first night, surrounded by a troop of kids and with Mike practically glued to El’s side, it didn’t take long for Nancy and Joyce to swoop into action. Both kids were given a cursory clean up and brought peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with apple juice while Hopper called an ambulance for Dr. Owens and gratefully accepted Joyce’s offer to spend the night. Then Joyce had whisked Will off for a shower while Jonathon, Steve and Nancy retreated to the kitchen. The other kids gathered around the couch – either on the floor or lounging on other furniture. They talked in quiet whispers and seemed happy to simply stare at El and Mike together on the couch, as if they couldn’t really believe she was alive.

Hopper sat in the spot next to El that Will had vacated. She had practically inhaled two sandwiches and he wondered when the last time was that she had a proper meal. “How are you doing kiddo?”

She looked more than exhausted and still had some black mascara – _wherever the hell that had come from_ – under her eyes, but thankfully the blood had been wiped away. “Tired,” she said, snuggling into him.

“How about a bath sweetie?” Joyce asked, entering from the hallway. “Will’s going to be done in a few minutes. And I have some clean pajamas you can wear.”

El merely nodded and smiled at Joyce, too tired to do anything else.

Hopper needed to check on Dr. Owens now that he was sure El was out of danger. He put his hand on her knee. “I have to go check in at the hospital but I won’t be gone long, ok?”

El pressed into him even more. “Do you have to?” she whimpered. The other kids looked on, slowly realizing just how inseparable Hopper and El had become. 

Hopper carefully pulled her onto his lap and hugged her. “Duty calls I’m afraid. But Joyce will take good care of you. I promise to look in on you to say goodnight when I get back. Besides,” he grinned at her, “you need to get all this bitchin’ gel out of your hair before you go to bed.” 

The other kids looked confused at this inside joke, but a tiny grin tugged at the corners of El’s mouth before she rested her head on his chest, sighing deeply. “Alright. But – hurry back, ok?”

“You bet,” he said, giving her a final squeeze before placing her back on the couch next to Mike, whose hand El immediately grabbed. Mike had been watching Hopper closely, still not quite believing El had been a few miles from him all this time, but his earlier anger had almost dissipated when he saw how gentle Hopper was with El. He was wondering how he could be grateful that someone had been taking good care of her while at the same time being so angry that El had been purposely kept from him.

Joyce followed Hopper out the front door, after telling El she would be right back, and watched Hopper as he lit a cigarette on the front stoop.

“Thanks for letting us stay,” Hopper said. “I really didn’t want to move her again tonight.”

“Happy to do it.” Joyce looked up at him through her thick lashes. “So, you and El - for almost a year?”

Hopper nodded, taking a drag before handing her the cigarette.

“That must have been…” she pauses, taking a puff and searching for the right word, “challenging.”

Hopper thought back to the first few months when El was barely verbal, the nightmares that woke him from a dead sleep so many nights, wanting to kill those god damn bastards that treated her like a science experiment every time she didn’t know the simplest thing – _a toaster, for Christ sake_ – and then the months where she just seemed sad and missing Mike all the time, and finally the last few, where her patience was worn thin and her temper seemed to be hanging by a thread. And he remembered how many times he wanted to call Joyce, asking for advice. Challenging - Jesus - that was the understatement of the century. But he wouldn’t have it any other way. He honestly wouldn’t change a thing. He had saved her from starving and freezing to death but she had saved him too, in so many ways.

“Well, we’ve certainly had our moments, as you could tell from the blown out windows.” He reached for the cigarette and took a puff, staring up at the night sky to avoid seeing her reaction.

Joyce’s mouth gaped open. “No. She did that?”

“Yup.” He handed her back the nearly finished cigarette.

“Oh Hopper.” They stood in silence for a bit. “Well, you becoming a single parent this last year certainly explains a lot.”

He looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, come on Hop – it’s a small town. Did you think no one would notice that the police chief wasn’t frequenting the bars, buying as much beer and had stopped one night standing all the local single ladies?”

Hopper looked completely taken aback before heaving a sigh. He had been completely focused on El for months, so hadn’t honestly ever given a moment’s thought to what the town folks thought of him or his adjusted habits. He never cared and he still didn’t. But it might impact El, so he had to ask. He took back the cigarette she offered. “Ok - so what’s the rumor?”

“What do you mean?” Joyce was being evasive now. Not looking at him.

“You said it – small town – so what’s the rumor about me?” Joyce continued to look down at her shoes as if they were the most fascinating things she had ever seen. “Joyce - come on.”

She gathered her sweater closer around her to ward off the chill. “The main one is that you’re dating someone in another town. That explains why you’re rarely at the trailer, are sometimes late for work, hardly seen around town on the weekends.” She turned to look back at up at him. “It does kind of make sense when you think about it. And actually, you may be able to work it to your advantage when you’re ready to bring El out of hiding,” she suggested.

He wasn’t ready to think about that right now. He just wanted to get through the next couple of days and make sure his little girl was really okay, figure out how to move forward and still keep her safe. The gate might be closed but he was dependent upon Dr. Owens to make sure El could someday, finally live a normal life. Or a fairly normal life. It wasn’t going to be easy.

Joyce suddenly giggled. He stared at her. After all she’d been through in the last twenty-four hours – having to drag her away from Bob getting annihilated by those dogs - he wasn’t sure she’d ever giggle again.

“What?” he asked.

“You two are kind of adorable together,” she said, smiling at him.

Hopper shook his head and handed her back the last of the cigarette, then stepped off the porch towards his truck. “I’ve been called a lot of things Joyce, but adorable is _definitely_ not one of them.”

When he returned a few hours later, he had fully expected to trip over a bunch of kids in the living room, but after letting himself quietly in the front door he was surprised to find an empty room. He wandered into the kitchen where Jonathon was finishing the dishes. 

“Will’s asleep in his room. Mom has El in her room. There’s a sandwich in the fridge and blankets and a pillow on the couch for you,” he said over his shoulder, putting the last plate in the drain board.

“Thanks. How on earth did she manage to get the rest of the kids out of here?” 

“It’s a school day tomorrow. There wasn’t any good reason for four kids staying over. Nancy and Steve took them home and then Nancy was making Steve stop to get checked at the hospital.” He wrung out the dish cloth, draped it over the faucet and leaned against the sink.

“I’m impressed.” He was sure Mike was going to have to be surgically removed, whether El was awake or not.

“Mom told them they could come over after school tomorrow.”

A trade off, then. Very clever of her. He thought again what a great parent she was. And how much he could have used her help this past year. She always made it look so easy. It most definitely was not.

“How is she doing?” Hopper asked, knowing once the need for constant parenting stopped that Joyce would feel the shattering grief of Bob’s loss.

“She’s had a few – um – moments,” Jonathon stuttered. “But she’s strong – she’ll get through it.” It sounded like he was trying to convince himself. He wasn’t sure Bob had been the right man for his mother, but he had made her happy. Happier, anyway. The last two years had been hell. He didn’t deserve to die like that. Jesus – no one did.

“She is strong,” Hopper confirmed, placing a large hand on Jonathon’s shoulder. “And so are you – she never would have made it through all of this without you.”

Jonathon nodded, appreciating those words more than he could ever say. Words his own father would never utter. “Mom said to send you down to her room when you got back.”

Hopper gave Jonathon’s shoulder a squeeze before letting go and heading down the hall. He took a quick look into Will’s room where he was sleeping soundly. The poor kid had been through so much. And put his mother through so much. Joyce’s bedroom door was halfway open and he tapped gently before pushing it further and quietly approaching the bed. El looked so tiny in the middle of the king sized bed, her familiar curls on the pillow. Joyce had an arm wrapped around her, protective even when asleep. 

****

Hopper takes one last look at the interior of the cabin before leaving for work. It looked better than it ever had. He was finally ready to bring El home. When he arrived at the station, he called to check in.

“Hello,” Joyce answered.

“Hey Joyce, it’s me.”

“Hey Hop. There’s someone here who wants to talk to you.”

He waited a moment before hearing, “Hi.”

He smiled. “Hey kiddo, how you doing?” She had slept in so he hadn’t seen her that morning.

“We had grilled cheese for lunch and now Will and I are playing cards. He’s teaching me rummy.”

“That’s great. Any headaches today?” It had been pretty constant yesterday.

“No.”

“Good. Listen I’m bringing pizza over for dinner tonight and then we’re going to go back to the cabin. How does that sound?”

For a moment he was afraid she would say she never wanted to leave the Byers’ house. Joyce was the most nurturing mother on the planet and she and El had formed a special bond. The kids had been over after school yesterday and certainly would be again today, so she would not be happy about the isolation of the cabin.

“Home?” she asked hopefully.

“Yeah, home.”

“Yes, please.”

He was glad he had closed his office door, because he could feel tears in his eyes. He pinched his nose and sniffed them back. “I’m looking forward to it too, kid. Very much. I’ll see you around six.”

“Ok. Bye.”

“Can you put Joyce back on?” He waited.

“She’s doing fine, Hop.”

“And Will – all good?”

“Seems so.” But he could still hear the worry in her voice. He was afraid it would never go away.

“Ok, I should be there around six. If you want to ask the rest of the kids to stay for dinner too, I’ll bring extra.”

“Sure, that sounds nice.”

“I’m planning to take El home after dinner. I think it’s time. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for us the last few days.”

“Of course. What are friends for? See you later.” And she hung up.

Friends. Yes, they were friends. Friends that had a long, complicated history. But deep down, he knew he wanted her to be so much more. They could be so much more. He sighed and put the phone in the cradle, thinking back to the night the gate was closed.

***

Hopper slowly approached Joyce’s bed, not wanting to disturb the two sleeping figures. El was on her side, with Joyce spooned behind. But as he got closer, El’s eyes drifted open and looked right at him. “You’re back,” she stated simply.

“Yeah,” he leaned over and ruffled her back to normal curls, still damp. “How are you feeling?” He sat next to her on the bed, smiling down at her and placing a hand on her hip.

“Sleepy.”

“Me too,” Joyce muttered.

“Sorry I woke you both up,” Hopper apologized, glancing over at Joyce. “Just wanted to check in before hitting the sack.”

“There are fresh towels if you want to shower, food in the fridge,” Joyce said, not moving. Always trying to take care of everyone, even when she was half conscious.

“Ok thanks. I’ll see you two ladies in the morning.” He bent down and kissed El on the forehead and gave Joyce’s arm a squeeze.

“Don’t go,” El begged, grabbing his arm.

Joyce lifted her head off the pillow and gave him a ‘don’t worry, it’s fine’ look. He could see her eyes were red and puffy. “How about I lie down with you till you go back to sleep, yeah?” he asked.

“Yes,” El replied, eyes already closing.

Hopper laid down on the bed, careful not to jostle El, but the minute he settled she snuggled as close into his side as was humanly possible. He lifted his left arm and put it over her shoulders. Joyce propped herself up on one elbow and caught Hopper’s eye.

“See, I told you, adorable.”

“Shut up Joyce.”

***

He spent the rest of the day catching up on paperwork, finally getting to the stack of phone messages he’d been ignoring. He picked them up, sorting them into two piles. One he could pass off to his deputies and one he needed to deal with himself. At the bottom of the pile there was a message from Becky Ives. He stared at it for a minute before picking up the phone.

“Hello.”

“Hi, is this Becky Ives?”

“Yes.”

“Hi Becky, it’s Chief Jim Hopper returning your call. Sorry it’s been a few days, was out of town,” he lied. Couldn’t very well say he almost died in a monster made tunnel, fought his way out of lab full of demonic dogs and risked El’s life having her close a gate to hell.

“Thanks for calling me back. Look I just wanted to let you know that Jane showed up here. It was a bit of a shock to find out Terry was right all this time.”

Hopper needed to act like he didn’t know a thing about Jane. “Is she still there?”

“No, she only stayed a few hours.”

 _A few hours? What the hell?_ He needed to stay calm and focus as Becky carried on.

“She had some kind of psychic interaction with Terry. Said Terry showed her what happened to her. Terry broke into the lab to try to get Jane back, found her in a room with another little girl. But the lab people found her and they – they,” she was crying now.

Hopper’s head was spinning. How could El connect with a woman in a vegetative state? And what _other_ little girl? He used his most soothing voice, “What did they do, Becky?”

“They used one of those machines to do neurological damage to her brain. I always held out hope that she might recover, but – but – she never will.”

Oh Jesus. “Becky I’m so sorry. So very sorry.”

“The funny thing is, since Jane was here Terry seems calmer. And, actually now that I know the truth, that she’s never going to recover, I can move on too. Make some decisions I’ve been putting off.”

“Did Jane say anything else before she left? Do you know where she went?” He really needed to know what happened when El left her aunt’s house.

“We looked through Terry’s old files, and we found a picture of the other girl from the lab. Jane was trying to find her in that weird blindfold thing she does. That’s when I called you. But when I got off the phone she was gone.”

“Gone?”

“Yeah, she took about forty bucks from my purse and I haven’t heard a word since. I assumed she found that girl and went to her. Do you think she’s ok?”

Hopper had to shut his eyes and count to ten. “I’m sure she’s fine.” _For now_. In fact, he was picturing her playing cards at Joyce’s table with Will. “Thanks for the call and if I hear anything, I’ll let you know. And I’ll check back with you in a few weeks, ok?” He owed her that much. Eventually he would have to come clean to Becky about El, but right now was not the time.

“Sure, thanks. But, now that I know Terry’s condition is permanent, I’ve arranged to move her to a nursing home. My boyfriend has been transferred to Kentucky for work and I’ve decided to go with him. There’s really nothing more I can do for her. Can I send you our information in case Jane shows up?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.”

After hanging up he turned his chair and stared out the window. He had assumed El had spent the whole time she was away with her aunt, but that obviously wasn’t the case. El had gone hunting for another child from the lab and God only knows where her search had led her. Somewhere she didn’t want him to know about, obviously. She had very conveniently left that whole part out of her story. The more he thought about it the more sense it made that someone other than Becky was responsible for that punk makeover. But El had let him assume it had been Becky. He added it to the list of things he needed to talk to her about – a lie of omission. He was having a very hard time controlling his anger, not knowing where the hell she had been for almost two days, but knew he had to approach this conversation very carefully. Not fly off the handle like the last time she had taken off. It was a good thing he had a few hours to pull himself together. They had come so far - he couldn’t afford to lose his temper and cause another setback. But he was still, for all intents and purpose, her parent – and he needed to act like one.

He thought back again to the night she closed the gate, grabbing her as she fell and holding onto her for dear life. How tiny she had looked in Joyce’s bed. How much she needed him – how much they needed each other.

***

El woke up the first morning after closing the gate and found herself lodged between two of her favorite people. Hopper must have passed out and never moved to the couch. He was lying on his back, one arm over his face, snoring softly. They had a rough go of it lately, but she adored him. Someone, the first person ever, who had her best interest at heart. A man who really cared about her and not about what she could do for him. While she bristled at his rules, she knew the intent behind them was only to make her safe. She truly regretted hurting him during their fight. He was not like Papa. Not at all.

Joyce was on her other side, her back to El. Ever since Joyce had hugged her in that salty bath in the school gym she had craved more contact with her. She was so naturally soothing. A real mama. She couldn’t help but wonder if her own mama would be similar if she wasn’t halfway gone. Hopper hadn’t completely lied to her about that. She wasn’t really here anymore.

El had no idea what time it was, and she was still feeling drained, but she needed to use the bathroom so scooched her way out from under the covers and tip toed out of the room, closing the door behind her. She ran into Will in the hall.

“Hi El,” he said, rubbing his eyes. He had just come out of the bathroom. “How are you?”

“Hungry,” she replied, smiling. “You?”

“Same – meet you in the kitchen. I think we may even have some Eggos.”

El remembered Hopper had grounded her from Eggos. She wasn’t sure if, after everything that happened, she still was, but didn’t want to take any chances. She inherently knew what happened between them was not finished. There would no doubt be future conversations about using her powers in retaliation. She realized while she was doing it how wrong it was, that it would make him even angrier, but she had been so upset about Mike talking to that red-headed girl she was unable to think reasonably. No, eggos weren’t worth the risk.

“Cereal or toast is fine,” she said.

Meanwhile, down the hall, Joyce rolled over and Hopper shifted onto his side so they were facing each other. Hopper opened his eyes first, wondering for a second where he was. Then he worried where El was, but he could hear her and Will talking in the hall so knew she was fine. He thought about getting up but decided to stare at Joyce while he had the opportunity. She was as beautiful as ever. He had always loved her tousled look first thing in the morning. Joyce’s eyes opened as if he had said it out loud.

“Sorry Joyce, I must have passed out in here,” he apologized. But he wasn’t really that sorry.

“That’s okay. We were all exhausted.” She self-consciously pulled at the neck of her nightgown. “This brings back memories.”

“Yeah, good memories. For me anyway.” Really, really good. The best.

She suddenly looked shy. “Me too.”

Hopper reached out and pushed a stray lock of long dark hair behind Joyce’s ear, letting his hand linger on her cheek. Then he remembered Bob’s recent demise and pulled his hand back. “Sorry. I know this is terrible timing. I didn’t mean -”

“I know you didn’t,” Joyce whispered, then showed a hint of a smile. “Maybe you could check back in with me in a few months?”

“I can wait however long you need.”

***

“Pizza’s here!” Dustin yelled as soon as Hopper came through the door, half a dozen pizza boxes in his arms. He took them straight through to the kitchen, noting that Lucas, Dustin, Max and Will were planted in front of the tv. Mike and El were nowhere in sight.

“Hey, Hop,” Joyce and Jonathon greeted him, before organizing paper plates and napkins while cracking open the pizza boxes on the counter. Dustin, Lucas, Max and Will piled into the kitchen.

“Smells great,” Lucas said.

“Thanks so much for dinner,” Max said to Hopper. She didn’t know him very well, but she wanted to be friends so badly with El that she figured it didn’t hurt to be polite to the man who was, as far as she could tell, her dad.

“No problem,” he answered.

“Yeah, thanks Chief,” Dustin added, echoed by Lucas and Will.

“Everyone grab a plate and help yourself, there’s milk and juice on the table. Sit wherever you can find a spot,” Joyce told them. Jonathon and Hopper leaned on the counter and stayed out of the way.

“Can we eat in the living room and finish our movie?” Will asked.

“Sure honey, just take some extra napkins.”

It didn’t take long for the kids to load up and scurry back to the living room. It was like a tornado had blown in and out in five minutes. Joyce could see that Hopper was wondering about El. “El and Mike are out back, I can get them.”

“No, it’s ok. I will,” Hopper insisted. He needed to speak to her in private for a few minutes.

As Hopper opened the back door, he spotted El and Mike huddled together on the picnic table, sitting on the top with their feet on the seat. You couldn’t fit a piece of paper between them and their hands were clutched together. Part of him wanted to pry them apart and part of him was pleased to see her so happy. She had waited so long to see Mike. They had a connection that was, frankly, a little scary. It was almost like El was a duckling who had imprinted on the first kind person she ever met. He had kept them apart – _for their own safety_ – for so long. The last few days he had given a lot of thought to how he could safely integrate Mike, and the rest of the kids, back into El’s life. But he had a few other things to deal with first.

Mike spotted Hopper coming and immediately dropped El’s hand, putting a little distance between them. “Hi Chief,” he said.

“Hey there,” Hopper said, purposefully sounding casual. As he walked toward the table El stood up on the seat but still only came up to Hopper’s shoulders. She wrapped her arms around his waist in greeting. She had been uncharacteristically demonstrative with her affection since closing the gate. He hugged her back while asking, “Getting a little fresh air?”

“Yes,” she replied. Back to one word answers again. Her throat was pretty raw from all that screaming.

“Don’t worry, we were very careful to stay out of sight,” Mike insisted.

“Good job kid,” Hopper told him. “The pizza is in the kitchen, why don’t you go on in. El will be there in a few minutes.”

Mike and El exchanged a glance before Mike quickly departed. El looked at Hopper expectedly – after living with him for a year she could tell something was a little off. “Is everything okay?”

He hadn’t been sure how he was going to broach the subject but she had given him the perfect opening. “That depends.”

Hopper had several hours to think about how to approach El with the information Becky had provided. He had decided to use an age old parenting strategy known as anticipation. He clearly remembered his youth and having to wait for his dad to get home, knowing he was in big trouble. The wait was almost worse than whatever punishment was meted out. The time spent waiting also gave him time to really think about what he had done. And wish he hadn’t. And wonder how bad it was going to be when his dad did get home.

“Depends on what?” El asked, curious.

“On where you went after you left your Aunt Becky’s to find that other girl from the lab,” he said in his sternest voice.

El’s eyes flew open. She knew she would have to tell him about going to Chicago someday. She wasn’t expecting it to be today. Or anytime soon. This was bad. Very bad.

El looked like the proverbial deer in the headlights. So far so good. Hopper leaned over and looked her square in the eye. “We _will_ be talking about this at home. But right now it’s dinner time, so go in and get some pizza.”

El didn’t move.

“Go on,” Hopper repeated. When she still remained frozen, he added gruffly, “Now, El.”

Hopper waited until he heard the back door open and close before he lit a cigarette and allowed himself a small smile.

***

As Hopper pulled out of the Byers’ driveway El spoke to him for the first time in over an hour. She had eaten her pizza with Mike in Will’s room while Hopper talked to Joyce in the kitchen. She was on pins and needles and couldn’t wait anymore. “On a scale of one to ten – how mad?”

During their first few months together, after Hopper explained the ‘one to ten’ scaling system, El had used it to help describe how she was feeling. It was sometimes easier than coming up with an appropriately descriptive word. How tired was she? Eight. How hungry? Five. How bad did her stomach hurt? Seven. I understand you are frustrated. Yes, TEN. And it helped her understand what Hopper was trying to articulate to her. Chances of being late tonight? Six. How busy was his day? Four. A number could convey a lot.

Hopper took a deep breath. If she had asked him five hours ago it would have been a twelve. “Eight,” he answered honestly. “Look kiddo, it’s been a long, tiring few days for both of us. Right now, I just want to get us home. We’ve got all weekend to talk about that,” he paused to look over at her, “and the fight we had. And some other stuff.” Her mama. Using her powers inappropriately. Sara.

El nodded and stifled a yawn and Hopper felt slightly guilty for putting her under more stress. It had only been 48 hours since she closed the gate and still wasn’t fully recovered. By the time they trekked the last hundred yards to the cabin she was dragging her feet. But as they came through the door her face lit up. Hopper hadn’t told her he had taken care of everything – removing the broken glass, fixing the windows, picking up the rest of the mess – so she hadn’t been sure what she was walking into. But it was clean and cozy and warm. It was home.

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

He smiled at her. “Looks good, yeah?”

“Yes.” She hung her jacket up on a hook by the door. Hopper did the same, then took his gun belt off and went to the fridge, pulling out a beer. By the time he walked back to the living room El was in tears.

“Oh, El,” he said, moving toward her. Seeing her sad always made him melt.

“I’m… I’m sorry about the windows,” she sobbed.

Hopper pulled her by the hand, sitting her on the coffee table while he sat facing her on the couch. He didn’t want to start this conversation until tomorrow, but there was no avoiding it now. 

“Look El, I’m not mad about the windows because I know you didn’t do that on purpose. It was an accident – it just happened because you were so upset. What I’m more concerned about are the things you did deliberately, like throwing the book and moving the couch,” he said gently, not taking his eyes off her.

El cast her eyes down, ashamed. “I’m sorry about that most of all,” she said sadly.

“Look, we both have things we’re sorry for. I’m sorry for losing my temper and saying I’d call the lab. That is something you know I would never do and I shouldn’t have said it. Okay?”

El sniffed and nodded.

“Look kiddo, it’s too late to continue this conversation now - you look dead on your feet. So, let’s say we get ready for bed, call it an early night and we can pick it up tomorrow. We have a lot to talk about. But I’ll remain calm, no matter what happens, ok?”

“Promise?” she asked, looking worried.

“Promise.”

“No matter what I tell you?”

Okay, now he was nervous. _Where the hell had she gone? What on earth had she been up to? How much danger had she put herself in?_ He willed himself to stay calm. Good practice for tomorrow. He placed his hands on her shoulders. “Yes, I promise.”

El gave him a weak smile, as if not quite believing him. However, in spite of her anxiety about telling him about Chicago her exhaustion was definitely catching up with her. Yesterday she had only managed to stay awake for six hours. Today, despite sleeping in until past ten and having a three hour afternoon nap, she was ready to drop.

“Ok then,” Hopper said. “Go get into your pajamas and brush your teeth.”

She did as she was told, pausing to say a quiet goodnight before closing her door. Tomorrow wasn’t going to be easy, but at least it would be a relief to get it off her chest.

***

As usual, Hopper was up first. He had learned soon after taking El in that she had been programmed to sleep when the lights went off and to wake up when they came on. As a result, she had always been easy to get to sleep or get up in the morning. It was _staying_ asleep that was sometimes a problem as she suffered from horrible nightmares the few first months. Now that it was November the days were getting much shorter and the sun rose even later. He was going to let her sleep in as late as she needed.

When she finally emerged, she looked well rested, but he asked anyway, “How did you sleep?”

“Okay.”

“Any headache this morning?”

She shook her head before moving to the bathroom while he refilled his coffee cup. He put bananas, the cereal box, milk, two bowls and spoons on the table.

He had been surprised when Joyce had told him that El had refused to eat Eggos or watch tv at her house the last two days, abiding by her punishment from running off to see Mike.

“I thought she loved Eggos,” Joyce questioned.

“She does,” he confirmed.

“Well she won’t eat them.”

Hopper immediately understood why. “That’s because she’s grounded from Eggos and tv right now.”

Joyce had smirked at him. “So that explains the windows then.”

Hopper had just sighed.

That also partially explained why El and Mike weren’t watching the movie yesterday with the rest of the kids. Aside from just wanting to be alone together, of course. Today was day five – even though it seemed like weeks since their fight. He took it as a small victory that she was following the rules of her grounding. Trying to be an authority figure was not easy when your kid could knock you on your ass. And destroy your house.

They ate breakfast quietly, both seemingly nervous about the upcoming conversation. When they were done Hopper said, “You go get dressed and I’ll clear the dishes.”

A few minutes later Hopper tossed El her jacket. “It’s a nice morning – let’s go sit on the porch.” He still couldn’t believe the poor kid had never stepped outside, looked out a window or experienced the outdoors for the first eleven years of her life. Abuse on that level was inexcusable. If Brenner wasn’t already dead, he knew he would kill him. Even though he made El stay inside when he was gone, he took every opportunity to bring her outside when he was home. “Or we can go for a little walk if you have the energy,” he offered.

El put her jacket on and answered by opening the door and going down the stairs. Okay then, a walk it was. They meandered through the forest, El leading the way. Hopper was used to walking slowly as his legs were twice as long, so strolled behind her, enjoying the quiet moment. He wanted them to reconnect before getting down to business.

El couldn’t decide the best way to start her story so had given it a lot of thought before she fell asleep last night. She had decided to begin with where she went, so as she stepped over a fallen branch she blurted out, “Chicago,” without stopping.

“Chicago?” Hopper asked, stepping over the same branch, not sure he had heard her right.

El stopped walking and turned to face him. He almost ran into her. “Chicago,” she repeated, looking at him meaningfully.

 _What the hell?_ He shook his head in disbelief. “You don’t mean?”

She nodded.

“Chicago!! You went to CHICAGO!” he bellowed.

“You promised,” she reminded him, taking a tentative step back.

When he saw the fear on her face as she backed away, he realized he needed to keep his promise, no matter what. The last thing he wanted to do was frighten her. He looked up, as if asking God for patience, breathed deeply and desperately tried to get a grip on the anger that was bubbling in his chest. Chicago – _Jesus Christ_ – there are only a few million people there. And it’s miles away. He couldn’t quite believe she would have the audacity to travel alone to such a huge city. Of course, she wouldn’t have had any idea how far, big or dangerous it was, but that was no excuse.

“El –“ he started, in as calm a voice as he could manage.

“I found Kali there, my sister,” El went on.

“Sister? The girl your mama showed you in her vision?”

“Yes. Kali is eight.” She pointed to the tattoo on her wrist. Another thing he wanted to kill Brenner for. Branding her like livestock.

They arrived in a clearing that they visited often. It had a downed tree that El liked to climb on. She sat on one of the branches. Hopper settled in beside her and listened for more than half an hour while El described her adventure. Once she started it seemed impossible for her to stop. She would pause on occasion and glance at Hopper, who would encourage her to continue. He only asked a couple of questions, for clarification. She could tell he was struggling at times to control himself – especially when she moved the train in broad daylight and used her powers on a store clerk when Kali’s gang had robbed a store. She couldn’t quite place the look on his face when she got to the part about Kali almost killing the man from the lab.

“But I decided to come home, so I left,” she finished, not taking her eyes off the ground.

“And that’s when you came to Joyce’s?”

“Yes.”

“I’m really glad you did.”

El looked over at Hopper. “Me too.” She leaned into his shoulder.

“And not just because you saved our asses,” Hopper added. “I would have lost my mind not knowing what happened. Where you were. If you didn’t come back I – I would have missed you. So much.”

“Me too,” El whispered. Hopper put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. It had been hard telling him everything, but she felt lighter. 

“And you know, sometimes things happen for a reason,” Hopper added. At El’s confused look he continued, “Do you think you would have been able to close the gate if Kali hadn’t helped you channel your powers?”

El thought about it for a moment. “I’m not sure. I don’t think so.”

“Then I’m thankful for that too.”

The sky was starting to darken and a cool breeze had kicked up. With El’s resistance low, Hopper didn’t want to risk her getting sick. “How about we head back to the cabin?” he suggested.

El grabbed his hand and didn’t let go until they arrived on the porch. During the walk he desperately tried to process everything she had told him. When they got inside he said, “How about I make you a hot chocolate and you get under the blanket on the couch, your hands are freezing.”

She happily complied and he rejoined her a few minutes later, handing her a mug. “How mad, now?” she asked tentatively. The worry on her face was unmistakable.

Hopper sat down with his mug of coffee. “Seven,” he answered honestly. When he thought about the risks she had taken, how easily it would have been for something to go horribly wrong, his blood boiled. But he also felt something else. Something entirely different. “But the first and most important thing I want you to know is that I am very proud of you.”

“Proud?” she asked, bewildered.

“El, you saved that man’s life. It takes a very special person to show mercy and forgive someone who was cruel to them or to someone they love. It also proves you have the strong moral compass that I always knew you had, despite everything that has happened to you. You did the right thing, saving that man. Instead of seeking revenge like Kali, you didn’t want those children to grow up without a father. I’m very, very proud of you for that.”

This was the last thing El had expected to hear. She expected him to yell at her, tell her she had been extremely stupid, was never going to be allowed out of the cabin again. Would never see Mike. Her relief was palpable, but she knew she wasn’t completely out of the woods yet, so waited quietly for him to continue.

“As for the rest of it,” Hopper resumed, “you know how dangerous it was to travel that far by yourself, right?”

“Yes,” she admitted.

Hopper sighed. “But I can understand how you would feel compelled to find your sister.”

“Com – compelled?”

“C-o-m-p-e-l-l-e-d. It means feeling like you must do something for a good reason.”

“Yes, compelled,” El agreed, glad he seemed to understand.

There was so much else Hopper wanted to say, so he took a moment to gather his thoughts while she stared at him from under the blanket, sipping her cocoa.

“You also know you shouldn’t have taken money out of your aunt Becky’s purse, right? When you take things that don’t belong to you it’s stealing. It’s not just wrong, it’s against the law. And obviously robbing that store in Chicago was wrong too. A lot of what Kali and her friends do is wrong.”

El nodded. She did know what Kali was doing was wrong. That was partly why she left.

“You’ll need to pay back the money you took from your aunt. We’ll start with your allowance money and you can earn more by doing extra chores, understand?” He wasn’t sure if he could actually get the money to Becky, but if not, he could find some other charitable home for it. It was the lesson here that was more important.

“I understand.”

Money had been an entirely new concept for El, but over the last couple of months Hopper had started giving her a weekly allowance to save for when she could go out. So far she had saved almost eighteen dollars. He had explained what all the different coins and bills were, and they had practiced pretending to buy things and making correct change.

“Good. I also need you to understand that there are different kinds of danger. In a big city like Chicago the chances of you running into a,” he paused, needing to find a word she would understand, “– mouth breather – is higher because of the number of people. So, while it’s easier to blend into a crowd, if you did run into trouble the chance of people witnessing you using your powers increases. In a small town like Hawkins, where everyone knows everyone else, the danger is in you standing out. A child wandering around alone in a small town raises concerns. Or say, using her powers on a swing set.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “Do you understand?”

She thought she did. “So, there’s danger no matter what?”

“Well that’s the gist of it, yeah. There’s always some element of danger. For everyone, not just you. Crossing a road, driving a car – everyday normal things all have an element of danger. But cars have safety features and people look both ways before they cross the street. Being prepared for danger, understanding the extent of it and not taking unnecessary risks is important. I know you can protect yourself and anyone around you but keeping your powers a secret is imperative to keeping you safe. To making sure you appear like any other normal kid without drawing unwanted attention to yourself. The more people you encounter the more likely you will need to use your powers, and the more likely someone will witness it.”

El nodded, understanding him better now. “There’s danger for you too,” she stated.

Hopper nodded in agreement. “Yeah, yeah there is. That’s why police officers get special training, to help them prepare and deal with the extra risks that come with the job.”

“What happened to you when I was gone?” she asked suddenly, catching him off guard. “I saw you, in a blue shirt and pants.”

It took him a moment to figure out that she went into the void and saw him at the lab. He sighed again. But fair was fair – he spent thirty minutes telling her about the rotting pumpkins, almost getting trapped in the tunnels, being decontaminated at the lab, the desperate escape from those freaking dogs and Will messaging them to close the gate.

“Stupid,” she declared, looking at him pointedly.

“Stupid?” Hopper raised his eyebrows at her.

“Going into the tunnels alone,” she clarified. “Very stupid.”

He really couldn’t disagree. He had thought the exact same thing while those creepy vines were encircling him. The worst part had been wondering what would happen to El if he didn’t make it out of there. “Yeah kiddo, it was,” he agreed. He shook his head with a grimace. “If I’d done something that stupid when I was a kid my dad would have put me over his knee.”

El had no idea what he was talking about. “Over his knee?”

“It means I would have got a spanking,” he clarified.

She looked even more confused. “Spanking?”

For once he was happy that she didn’t know what something meant. He pointed at her teddy bear on the end of the couch. “Can I borrow that?”

She handed the bear to him. “Like this,” he explained, placing it face down over his knee and giving it a couple of smacks.

El looked alarmed. “That would hurt.”

Hopper laughed as he handed back the bear. “Of course it hurts – that’s kind of the point.”

“Your papa wanted to hurt you?” she asked, clearly upset.

Hopper took both her hands in his. “No, he didn’t _want_ to hurt me. But he needed to teach me the difference between right and wrong and make sure I understood that my actions had - ”

“Consequences,” she finished.

“Yes, exactly. Consequences. Like when you got back from seeing Mike. But I should have controlled my anger. I realize that based on that experience you might think I grounded you because I was mad, but that’s not the case.”

He turned so he was facing her straight on.

“Parents punish their kids because they love them and want to make sure they grow up to be responsible, contributing members of society. They discipline their children with the hope that the next time the child is faced with a similar situation that they will remember those unpleasant consequences – and hopefully it will help them make a better, safer, smarter decision the next time. I grounded you because you deliberately broke all three of our “don’t be stupid” rules and put yourself at risk, not because you made me angry. It’s part of my job to punish you when you break the rules, no matter how unpleasant it is – for either of us. Do you understand?”

She thought about it for a few seconds. “Yes,” she answered. Then she looked down and said in a very quiet voice, “You need to punish me for going to Chicago.”

Hopper gently lifted her chin so their eyes met. “Yes, but given all the extenuating circumstances, I think having you repay the money to your aunt is punishment enough.”

“Ex… exten…?”

“Extenuating circumstances - it means there were good reasons to justify your actions. Like your mama and Kali. It makes breaking the rules easier to forgive.”

She hugged her bear. “No spanking?”

He shook his head, a little surprised at the question. “No, no spanking. That type of punishment is for younger kids. You’re too old to be spanked.” Although he’d be lying if he said it hadn’t crossed his mind momentarily when he first realized she went to Chicago.

El looked slightly relieved. “More grounded?”

Hopper had already given this a lot of thought. “I was very pleased that you didn’t eat any eggos or watch tv at Will’s. I know that must have been very hard. The fact that you continued to follow the rules, even though I wasn’t there, tells me that I can trust you. So, I think you’ve been grounded enough for now. The no eggo, no tv punishment is officially over.”

El smiled at him tentatively. “Really?”

“Yeah kiddo, really. You’ve been through enough lately. We both have. Not to mention you saved the world.” He ruffled her hair. “But tomorrow we are going to talk about new rules, and what will happen if you break them. Clear?”

“Yes, clear.” She glanced longingly at the tv. “But… it’s broken.”

“Nope, I fixed it yesterday.”

She smiled and then yawned. Twice.

“But no tv right now.” Hopper checked the time. “Time for lunch and then you look like you could use a nap.”

El didn’t respond, instead looking to be deep in thought, so Hopper stayed quiet, letting her process all the new information. This was something he had become very familiar with over the time they had been together. She was extremely intelligent but needed time to process. Finally, she looked up at him. “So… so you love me?”

It was so obvious from the look on her face that no one had ever told her this before that it almost broke his heart. He should have told her a long time ago. “Yeah kid, I love you very much.”

“Am I your girl, too?”

He had been her girl from the moment she stepped into his truck, wearing that ridiculous hunting hat and a coat ten sizes too big. “Yes, you are – if you want to be.” Hopper needed to let it be her decision.

“Like Sara?”

He caught his breath. “Yeah, like Sara.” Not exactly like Sara, he wasn’t replacing Sara with El. But she was his daughter just as much as Sara had been.

She smiled at him. “Yes, I want to be.”

Hopper let out the breath he’d been holding. “That makes me happy, kiddo. Very happy.”

“Are we sisters?”

“You and Sara?” El nodded. “Yes, sisters,” he replied. “Would you like to know more about her?”

El smiled. “Yes.” And then she yawned again.

***

It started raining during the afternoon while El snoozed on the couch, so Hopper stoked the fire to ward off the chill and got caught up on paperwork he had brought home. He was pleased with how the morning had gone. There were still some things they needed to cover, but the hardest part was over. He figured if he could stay calm for a trip to Chicago, he could manage almost anything in the future. Maybe even the Wheeler kid.

He put the finished reports away and started dinner. He considered this a fresh start for he and El, so another thing he wanted to change was relying on tv dinners. He pulled out an old recipe of his grandma’s and browned ground beef while he cut up green peppers and onions and opened cans of kidney beans and diced tomatoes for chili. This seemed like an easy start, with an added bonus of getting more vegetables into El. He had also made sure to buy fruit, yogurt and granola bars so she had healthier snack choices. He tossed all the ingredients into a large pot and let them simmer.

The rain had slowed, so he stepped onto the porch and lit a cigarette. He knew he needed to cut back, as well as reduce smoking so much inside the cabin in front of El. He had started hearing that secondhand smoke was bad for people and the last thing he wanted to do was inadvertently damage El’s young lungs. It wasn’t going to be easy but he had to try. He sat on the porch swing and listened to the light rain patter on the leaves. Eventually his thoughts wandered to Joyce. He pictured how beautiful she had looked in bed that first morning after El closed the gate. He had been so busy since then they had barely had a moment alone until they found themselves sitting across from each other at the kitchen table for dinner last night.

“So Hop, what are your plans for El?” Joyce asked before taking a huge bite out of her pizza slice.

“Plans?” Hopper echoed, cracking open a beer.

Joyce chewed and swallowed. “Yeah, plans. Now that the other kids know she’s alive you can’t keep them apart all the time.”

“I know,” Hopper sighed. “But those government agents are crawling all over town. Owens is still in the hospital so hasn’t been much help. I can’t risk her being seen, no matter how much she wants to see Wheeler.”

“His name’s Mike,” Joyce cajoled. She reached across and put a hand over one of Hopper’s much larger ones. “What about using my place as a go between?” she offered. “You can sweep it for bugs as often as you like.”

Hopper knew that would mean her place would be crawling with kids all the time. But it also meant Will would stay close to home more often, which would appeal to her. He had been planning to ask if El could come by occasionally, but this was a lot to ask. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course. You know I adore her. You can bring her here on my day off during the week – it’s usually Wednesday, sometimes Tuesday. I can teach her how to bake and we can talk about girl things. As a mother of two boys I promise you it would be fun for me. And then the rest of the kids can come home with Will after school to see her.”

“I’m sure El would love that Joyce, if you’re sure,” Hopper accepted gratefully. The fact that it would give him a built in excuse to see her made it even better.

“Absolutely sure. She saved my boy twice – you know I would do anything for her.”

“Ok, thanks Joyce – and all the kids can come to the cabin on Saturdays while you’re at work.” Hopper reached for another slice, already regretting the offer. But El would love that too, so he would make it work.

“Ok, it’s a deal,” Joyce agreed, smiling at him.

Hopper was brought back to the present when El opened the cabin door and stuck her head out. “What did you make for dinner? It smells good.”

*** 

The chili, paired with Pillsbury crescent rolls, a glass of milk and store bought apple pie for dessert, was a big hit.

“Good,” El said, spooning a chunk of apple into her mouth.

“I’m glad you like it,” Hopper replied. “Hey kiddo, there’s something else we need to talk about,” he said, putting down his fork.

She looked at him nervously. She knew she had gotten off lightly so far, but he had kept his word and stayed calm almost all the time. “About what?”

“I wanted to apologize again for lying to you about your mama. I shouldn’t have told you she wasn’t around anymore. You know how you say, ‘friends don’t lie’?” 

El nodded. 

“Well the lie I told you about your mama is what I would call a lie of omission.”

“Lie of o - omission?”

“Yeah, it means only telling part of the truth, or leaving out an important piece of information without actually telling a lie that makes someone believe a lie. Understand?”

“I think so. Mama is around, but she isn’t.”

“That’s right, but instead of telling you the whole truth, I let you think she was all the way gone. You assumed I meant she was dead and I let you believe it. I wasn’t ready to explain it to you yet, but it was wrong of me to do that. You deserve the truth.”

El drank some milk, taking time to think about what he had said.

Hopper continued, “I’ll give you another example. You told me a lie of omission as well, when we were talking about your punk makeover and I assumed Becky had done it. You didn’t tell me the truth – you left out all the information about Kali and Chicago and let me assume it was Becky. Yeah?”

“Yes,” El agreed. Now she understood it completely.

“So, let’s agree that from now on, no more lies of omission either – agreed?”

“Agreed.”

“Good.”

After dinner they cleaned up, El had a bath and put on her pajamas – because they both knew she would inevitably fall asleep on the couch - and they started a movie.

During a commercial El asked, “Can we talk about seeing Mike?” She hadn’t wanted to ask before now, not sure how he would react given the news she had shared about her adventures with Kali. But she needed to see Mike, couldn’t go on without seeing him, and hoped Hopper would be agreeable.

“Yeah we can, tomorrow.” Honestly, he was surprised it had taken her this long to ask.

“And Sara?”

He patted El’s leg. “Yes, Sara too.”

“Okay.” She snuggled closer against him.

El was sound asleep 5 minutes later, so Hopper carried her to bed and covered her up. He kissed her forehead, shut off her lamp and closed the door. Then he opened the crawlspace and pulled out the Sara box, almost afraid to open it. But he didn’t want to be surprised tomorrow, or lose his composure, or come across something he may not be ready to share. He honestly couldn’t remember everything that was in the box. He sat there staring at it for almost 5 minutes before carefully removing the lid.

***

“Are you sure you don’t want to put it in a glass and drink it?” Hopper teased, watching El pour a massive amount of maple syrup on her third eggo. He should seriously think about buying shares in Aunt Jemima.

His attempt at humor only earned him an eye roll. He got up to refill his coffee while she practically inhaled her food. The first word out of her mouth this morning had been “Mike”. Hopper had told her they would talk about Mike after breakfast. By the time Hopper returned to the table El was finished and looking at him expectantly.

“Dishes,” he reminded her.

Another exasperated eye roll, but El quickly put her dishes in the sink and raced back to sit down. She lifted her eyebrows at him, clearly out of patience.

“Alright, alright,” Hopper conceded, barely able to keep a straight face. “You’re going to be able to see Mike.”

“Thank you,” El squealed, jumping up to give him a tight hug. Hopper enjoyed every second of it. He hadn’t been able to do much to make her happy lately, and whether or not she believed it he was also very tired of always saying ‘soon’, so he was almost as elated as she was.

When she let go, he said, “It’s only going to be twice a week to start, but until we know for sure what’s going on at the lab and whether you’re in the clear it’s the best I can do.”

“Twice a week!” El is happier than he’s ever seen her. Grinning from ear to ear and barely able to stand still.

Hopper goes on to explain the plan that he and Joyce agreed to and when El found out she would be spending a day a week with Joyce she spun around in a circle hugging herself. Hopper knew exactly how she felt.

“There are going to be some updated ‘don’t be stupid’ rules to go along with visits,” Hopper told her, trying to sound stern but failing. El’s joy was contagious.

“Okay,” El agreed. He was positive she would agree to anything at this moment. Maybe he should throw in an “eat all your vegetables” rule.

“First, the same rules apply at the cabin when you are here alone. Curtains closed, door stays locked until you hear the knock, no going outside. Yeah?”

A quick nod from El.

“And when the kids are here, you can go out but you have to stay together and within sight of the cabin – at all times. I’m going to pick you up one of those walkie talkies the boys use so you can keep in touch,” he paused as her eyes opened wide and the grin got even bigger, “but no using your real names, anyone can listen in on those channels. When you are at Joyce’s you do as she says, mind your manners, eat what you’re given, make sure you hide if anyone comes to the door, no going outside alone there either. But you can go outside with Joyce or the other kids as long as you all stay together.”

“Outside at Will’s?” El could not believe it – this was so much better than she ever could have imagined.

“Yes, as long as you are careful and stay within a certain area. I’m going to draw you a map of Hawkins, where the cabin is, where Joyce’s house is, and mark on it where you can go. But not alone. Never alone. Understand?”

“Yes.”

His voice took on a serious tone. “Now, if you break these rules there will be consequences. No more free passes.”

“Grounded.”

“Yes, grounded, but it won’t be no eggos or tv, it will be no one visiting the cabin and no going to Joyce’s.”

El understood completely. “No friends.”

“That’s right. Do you have any questions?”

El shook her head.

“Ok then. Your turn to do the dishes and then we should get some fresh air.”

“Sara?” El asked quietly.

“Yeah kiddo, I’ll tell you all about her.”

***

An hour later El and Hopper returned to the cabin, Hopper having spent most of that time telling El about Sara as they meandered through the forest. What she was like when she was a toddler, her favorite foods and colors, what cartoons she liked, how she used to like to hang upside down on the jungle gym. El kept asking questions and he answered each one, keeping the conversation light, surprised that he could talk so openly about Sara without feeling the soul ripping agony that usually threatened to bury him. He didn’t know if it was the passage of time, the fact that he was trying to focus on the happy memories or the small hand that squeezed his any time he started to feel melancholy. But whatever the reason, he was able to finally talk about his daughter and not fall to pieces. At least, not yet. He hadn’t got to the black hole part yet.

“Do you want to see some pictures of her?” Hopper asked as they entered the cabin.

“Yes,” El answered immediately. She had found listening to Hopper talk about Sara both heartwarming and sad. Sad that she wasn’t here anymore, but happy that she was lucky enough to have a mama and papa who loved her so much. Getting a glimpse at a normal young childhood could have made her envious or sad, but instead it made her grateful that someone as loving as Hopper had been the one to take her in. She knew Mike and the other kids were a little afraid of him, considered him surly and domineering – and he could be – but mostly he was patient, kind and gentle, but firm, with her. Exactly what she needed.

Hopper pulled the Sara box out from under his bed and put it on the coffee table. They sat on the couch together. “Go on, open it,” he told her.

El reached out to the box with reverence and very gently pulled the lid off. She lifted out half a dozen pictures which Hopper had intentionally placed on the top. El stared at the first one, taken when Sara was a month or two old, with wispy blond hair and big blue eyes, a slight grin on her face.

“One of her first smiles,” Hopper said, looking over El’s shoulder.

“Pretty.” El’s fingers stroked the picture as if she was caressing Sara’s head.

In the next one Sara was turning one, with a goofy hat on her head, a huge smile showing off her eight new teeth and her hands and face smudged with chocolate cake. El laughed.

“Her first birthday. She got chocolate cake everywhere,” Hopper remembered. “Her clothes, our clothes, my hair, the floor, the high chair – everywhere.”

The next two were pictures with her parents, one with Hopper and one with her mama, when she was around three. El pointed at the woman and looked at him. “Sara’s mama?”

“Yeah, that’s my ex-wife,” Hopper confirmed.

“Do you still see her?”

“Haven’t seen her in a few years. Used to talk on the phone but haven’t done that for quite a while either. She’s remarried and has a new baby. A little boy. She’s moved on.” Something he wasn’t able to do himself until a little curly headed, eggo eating telekinetic had come into his life.

He hadn’t thought about Diane in a long time, and certainly hadn’t called her in a drunken stupor for well over a year. He had El to thank for that. He wasn’t angry that Diane had moved on and fully understood why they fell apart. After Sara died, he simply couldn’t manage to recover. Couldn’t pull himself out of the deep, dark hole he tumbled into. The devastation almost destroyed him and he had nothing left to give another person. They had amicably separated and he had moved back to Hawkins. The divorce was finalized soon thereafter.

El picked up the remaining two pictures. Sara’s last birthday and Christmas. For her birthday she wore a robin’s egg blue frilly dress, her hair up in little pigtails tied with blue hair elastics. Hopper still wore of them around his wrist and instinctively reached for it. In the Christmas picture Sara was sitting on Santa’s knee, none too happily. Hopper always thought the look on her face was clearly saying ‘get me out of here, now!’, which had always made him laugh. She had been reaching out to him, calling for him to save her from the strange man in the red suit. It was the last time he was able to save her. He felt himself start to crumble.

Despite the fact that El grew up in a laboratory environment, she was incredibly empathetic and sensed his sudden change in demeanor. She leaned into him, still holding the pictures.

“We found out she was sick the following spring, and we lost her – she… she left us five months later. She spent so much time in the hospital, they tried everything possible. She was in pain, but she was so brave. She lost her hair from the treatments.” He pulled on the blue elastic on his wrist again. “Nothing helped, they couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t -”

Hopper broke down and El climbed onto his lap, clasping her arms around his neck. He buried his head into her shoulder and sobbed, and El cried along with him. She held on to him just as tight as he had held her on the platform after closing the gate. After a few minutes Hopper calmed and loosened his hold on her. She removed her arms from around his neck but remained on his lap, leaning into his chest. Hopper rested his chin on top of her head. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he cried for Sara. Perhaps in the stairwell of the hospital. He hadn’t even cried when she died, or at her funeral. He knew that if he started he would never stop. Instead, he had gone completely numb and stayed that way until a year ago. It felt cathartic to finally let the tears flow that he had suppressed for so long. He was afraid he would feel embarrassed, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

They sat quietly until El ran her finger over the blue hair band around Hopper’s wrist. “This was Sara’s.”

“Yeah, it was. Once her hair –” he took a deep breath, “once her hair fell out, I started to wear it. I haven’t taken it off since.” It had been a lifeline when he needed to ground himself, stop himself from taking that final step into oblivion that he craved for so long. He kissed the top of El’s head. “But maybe it’s time I did.”

Hopper pulled the blue band off and held it up. “Would you like to wear it for a while?”

El sat upright and nodded, watching him slip it on her wrist. “I’ll take good care of it,” she promised.

“I know you will kiddo, but it’s getting pretty worn, so if it accidentally comes off it’s no problem. I won’t be mad or anything. I’m kind of surprised it’s lasted this long.”

El looked up at him. “I’m sorry Sara is gone.”

“Me too,” Hopper whispered. “But I’m glad you’re here. You have made my life so much better – more than you will ever know. I need you to understand that even if I’m not your real dad, your biological dad, you are just as much my girl as Sara was. And if she was here should have loved to have you for a big sister.”

“Sisters.” El smiled.

“So, do you want to see what else is in the box?” Hopper asked.

“Yes.”

They looked through Sara’s artwork, birthday and Father’s Day cards she had made for Hopper, a few seashells, several more pictures, a couple of baby teeth, a onesie with “Daddy’s Girl” on the front and a half finished coloring book. Then El’s stomach grumbled. Loudly. They had completely lost track of time and it was long past lunch.

“I’ll leave the box here – you can look at it anytime. How about some leftover chili?” Hopper asked, putting the lid back on the box.

***

After lunch El was worn out so Hopper sent her to bed for a nap while he put a chicken with potatoes and carrots in a roast pan. He shook his head, already anticipating the battle to get El to eat carrots. So far she disliked peas and green beans but tolerated corn and potatoes. He hadn’t even dared try anything more exotic like broccoli, asparagus, beets or cauliflower. Joyce had suggested raw vegetables like cucumbers, celery and peppers with dip so he was going to try that soon.

While El slept he made a fresh pot of coffee and took a cup out to the porch to have a cigarette. He loved the peace and quiet that came with the remote location of the cabin, but if he and El were going to stay here some updates were definitely needed. He fully expected Dr. Owens to advise that El would need to lay low for several more months. Maybe they could paint her room to make it more cheerful and add a rug to make it cozy. He could also convert the mud room / junk room / back entrance into a small bedroom for himself to provide more privacy for both of them. Lots of junk could be relocated to the shed or tossed. He’d definitely need to update the mattresses. His back couldn’t take much more of the cot that had been his bed since they moved in.

Eventually he would need to move them closer to town. The location of the trailer was not ideal from a safety point of view but could be used as a backup if needed. Or he could sell it. He’d been able to save a fair amount of money with no rent or mortgage payments the last few years, so would keep an eye on real estate around Hawkins. Nothing right in town but a lot closer, something with a lot of privacy and easy to protect. Something without a five minute walk from the driveway to the door. Closer to work and school when she was ready. Maybe closer to Joyce too.

He knew that he and El had lived in a bubble the last year and that their bubble had already burst. While he had thoroughly loved their private time together, he knew she craved and desperately needed more interaction with other human beings. He talked with dozens of people every day but all she had was him. Having her spend time with Joyce and the other kids was going to be good for her and would give them both a more normal life. No teenage daughter spends _that_ much time alone in isolation with a parent. Especially a dad. He had taught her as much as possible but his time was limited with the sometimes long, erratic work hours. The more people available to continue telling, showing and instructing her on how to function as a normal kid, the better. Maybe he could pay Nancy, Steve and Jonathon to tutor her to better prepare her for school. Eventually he would need a cover story when she was brought out in the open. There was so much to think about it was overwhelming. He sighed and put out his cigarette. One step at a time.

El woke after only a couple of hours – a considerably shorter nap time that usual since closing the gate. She was starting to feel more like herself and less like a constantly exhausted toddler. The excitement of being able to see Mike, Joyce and her other friends still hadn’t worn off. She smiled to herself and hugged her bear with pure joy. And then she felt the blue hair elastic around her wrist, holding it up to look at it. A piece of Sara that had been entrusted to her. Never in her life had anyone given her anything as special. Except maybe Mike giving her a new name – a name and not a number. Mike – she smiled again knowing she was going to see him in three more days.

As much as she was excited for the changes, she knew a small part of her was going to miss the quiet solitude that she and Hopper had shared. He had made her feel so safe, protected, loved. He was the first person to care about her and not her powers, or what she could do for him. When she thought back over the year they had spent together she realized how lucky she was. How blessed that he hadn’t stopped looking for her, leaving food in the forest so she could finally work up the courage to show herself. While she hadn’t trusted him at first, she trusted him with her life now. She knew he would do anything to keep her safe, and she would do the same for him. There was so much she had never said to him. She suddenly felt an overwhelming need to see him, right now.

“Hey kiddo,” Hopper greeted her when she joined him on the porch. He patted the seat next to him on the swing. “Your naps are getting shorter.”

El sat next to him and looped an arm through his, resting her head on his shoulder.

“You feeling ok?” Hopper asked, looking down at her, a little worried.

“Yes.”

Hopper was used to one word answers. While her vocabulary had vastly improved and she could certainly carry on a normal conversation, this was still her communication style when she was tired, sick or contemplative. Since she’d just had a nap he knew she wasn’t tired. She had just confirmed she wasn’t sick. So she was thinking about something. He waited patiently.

“If I’m your girl then are you my… my dad?” she finally asked, looking up at him nervously.

Hopper smiled down at her and reached around with his other arm to gently cup her face. “I would love to be your dad, but only if you want me to be.”

She nodded without hesitation. “Yes. Dad.”

Hopper’s heart almost burst. He never thought anyone would call him that again. But he didn’t want to push her too fast. “Ok then, but you can still call me Hop or Hopper or dad, whatever you feel comfortable with, okay?”

“Okay.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes. A squirrel chattered at them from high in a tree.

“Dad?” she said, as if trying to see if it worked for her.

“Yes, El.”

“Thank you. For everything. Protecting, feeding, teaching. You saved my life.”

Hopper had been drowning in his own self-pity before he found El. He was sure it was only a matter of time before he overdosed (accidentally or on purpose) or put a gun to his head to put himself out of his misery. Instead he had found a reason to live.

“You saved my life too, kiddo,” he told her sincerely, kissing the top of her head.

“Dad?” She decided she liked the sound of it.

“Yeah?”

“I love you, too.”


End file.
